Leading with heart and clarity

A reflection on leadership in life, not just at work.

Last year, I posted these words on my WhatsApp status: “Leading with heart and clarity.”

No deep caption. No thread of explanations. Just that.

I didn’t think much of it at the time. It was something I wrote during a quiet moment, when I was reflecting on the kind of leader I wanted to be, not just at work, but in life. The kind of person I could trust myself to be when things got hard.

It felt true. Like something to hold onto when I couldn’t control anything else. I didn’t know that a few months later, those words would come back to me not just as a philosophy, but as a question.

Could I actually do this? Lead with both heart and clarity when the stakes felt personal and the emotions were messy? I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Leadership Isn’t Just About Work

We often link leadership to job titles, meetings, or project plans. Things you can measure. But honestly, I think some of the hardest leadership moments don’t happen in the office.

Some of the hardest leadership moments don’t happen in the office.

They happen in the middle of a conversation that’s long overdue. They show up when you realize something, or someone, no longer aligns with where you’re going.

They appear when you choose not to abandon yourself, even if staying silent would make others more comfortable. That’s leadership too. Maybe even the harder kind.

What It Means to Lead with Heart

To lead with heart is to care deeply, even when it would be easier not to.

• It means listening without needing to fix everything.
• It means staying present when someone is vulnerable.
• It means remembering that you’re a human before you’re a performer, and that others are too.

In relationships, it might mean letting someone go with kindness instead of dragging things out with silence.

At work, it could mean giving someone the benefit of the doubt, or checking in because their energy feels off, not because their performance dropped.

Leading with heart doesn’t mean avoiding discomfort. It just means you’re choosing care, even when it’s inconvenient. And sometimes, that’s the braver choice.

What It Means to Lead with Clarity

Clarity, on the other hand, is what keeps you grounded.

• It’s knowing when to say, “I need something to change,” and actually meaning it.
• It’s finally putting words to a feeling you’ve been carrying for too long.
• It’s stepping out of wishful thinking and into what’s actually true.

In your personal life, clarity shows up when you say something that’s hard but necessary.

At work, it might mean setting boundaries, giving direct feedback, or choosing focus instead of trying to please everyone.

Clarity doesn’t mean having it all figured out. I’m still figuring a lot of it out myself.

But it does mean you stop pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t.

The Sweet Spot Between the Two

Heart without clarity can leave people confused. Clarity without heart can feel cold.

But when you have both, that’s where trust lives.

Kim Scott calls it Radical Candor, the ability to care personally while challenging directly. It’s telling someone the truth not to hurt them, but because you respect them enough not to lie.

It might sound like: “I value our relationship, which is why I need to be honest about how this feels.”

Or at work: “You’re doing great, and there’s one thing I want to flag early so it doesn’t hold you back later.”

It’s not always easy. But it’s honest. And people can feel the difference.

Holding Both at the Same Time

Let me just say, it’s one thing to write about this, and another thing to live it.

• Because heart says, “Don’t hurt them.”
• Clarity says, “Don’t lose yourself.”
• Heart says, “Be patient.”
• Clarity says, “It’s been long enough.”

You can love someone and still need something they’re not offering.

You can respect someone and still say no.

There’s no perfect formula. Some days you’ll lean too far one way. That’s okay. What matters is that you keep returning to what feels honest, not just what feels easy.

The Courage to Act

It’s one thing to feel the tension between heart and clarity. It’s another thing to act on it.

Because the moment clarity comes, when you realize what needs to be said or done, you still have to make a choice. And that choice takes courage.

• The courage to risk discomfort for the sake of truth.
• The courage to trust your instincts, even if it changes a relationship.
• The courage to be kind without hiding, and honest without hurting.

This is where leading with heart and clarity becomes more than a mindset. It becomes a practice that asks you to show up, even when it’s hard.

A Few Ways to Practice It

Here are five things I try (and keep trying) to come back to when I feel off balance:

• Say the truth, and say it gently. You don’t have to be harsh to be clear. Just be real and kind.
• Ask instead of assuming. Especially when something feels off. It’s okay to say, “I could be wrong, but can I ask…?”
• Admit what you don’t know. There’s strength in saying “I don’t know yet” or “I’m figuring it out.”
• Respect your own capacity. You can be thoughtful without being endlessly available. That doesn’t make you less caring, just more sustainable.
• Come back to your values. When you feel torn, ask what actually matters. It sounds simple, but it works.

The Kind of Leadership That Stays

Leading with heart and clarity isn’t flashy. It won’t always feel good in the moment.

But it builds something honest, in your work, your relationships, and your sense of self. It’s not about being perfect or always having the right words. It’s about showing up the best way you can, and being willing to grow when you don’t.

And when the ground shifts, when everything feels unclear, and you’re not sure what to say, you can still come back to this:

When in doubt, choose truth with care. That’s leadership.

I’m curious: what does “leading with heart and clarity” look like in your life right now?